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Barfo wins "Best Actor" at the 2025 Pre-Invasion and Mass-Hypnosis Global Cinema Movies Award Show sponsored by Barfo Silver and Iron Mining Conglomerate. 

Read his full acceptance speech, including his exciting plans for our planet:

Gosh this is so unexpected. I didn't even write anything down. I know I'll forget someone. First, off I want to say how glad I am to have the chance to speak to so many of you out there via the magic of live TV and the internet. Good stuff. I'm going to be talking to you for about two minutes, because that's how long it takes. 

So, the movie. I mean, the whole cast and crew. Jim Toole, Rhonda Wells, Mark Dunn. Barbara in hair and makeup, you are a doll.  

Of course, Tiffany, my amazing wife and broodmare. Still got that passion for you. You keep me real. Slurp the kids for me, babe. My progenitors, Blorb and Gloink, who I think of often. I can't believe it was ten years ago on the journey to conquer Earth that you congealed, hardened and were blasted off into space. I hope you'd be proud of your little Barfo. 

Oh and of course these two special guys on stage with me. Replicant One and Replicant Two. Almost look like the real thing, don't they. I literally couldn’t survive without them and the nutrients they supply. Thank you all.

When I was about to audition for this role, I tried not to listen to little voice we all hear from time to time. The one that says, You're not good enough. You're not smart enough.  Why are you doing this if Earth will soon be a cinder? But we can't let those little voices get in the way.

But it was a crazy idea. I mean, me, Barfo, cast as the newest Superman. I couldn't even believe they were making these tired superhero flicks still.  But I knew it had to be mine. I mean, what a great way to hypnotize a large swath of military-aged men. So I oozed myself right through the front gate of the director's house and laid out my case.

Now, was it the determination in my eyes ? Or my ability to pour my body into any costume? Was it the hypnotic and paralyzing effect my of my voice on the human limbic system?  Either way, Bob hired me right then and there. And we made a film that touched a lot of people. 

Now before they start playing me off-stage, please allow me to address a few rumors you may have heard lately. 

First off, I am happy to say that I am not melting from the heat of your sun or your planet’s gravity. The truth is much more boring, which is simply that my outer membrane constantly secretes a sticky mucus that collects, traps and rids my body of environmental impurities. Completely normal. 

Secondly, yes, my galactic brethren will be here shortly to corral the populace, lay waste to your cities and turn Earth into nothing more than a galactic feeding trough for the Great and Terrible Orifice of Zarnok. Honestly, she's great. I think you'll really like the experience. 

Finally, I want to apologize to the Academy for slapping, dissolving and consuming tonight's host on stage during his last monologue. I should not have let my hunger get the better of me. 

With that, I just want to say thank you to all who made this award possible.  All hail the Great and Terrible Orifice and enjoy the rest of your evening.